Noah

I guess I should preface this review by revealing I am not a very religious person. I’m not actually sure if that works for, or against, being a viewer of the latest Darren Aronofksy movie Noah, but I think it’s worth mentioning. Possibly if I had studied the Bible more I would have been aware of some amazing facts of the times!

1. The humans of old had amazing metallurgy skills being able to make metal piping, seemingly windmill type devices and all sorts! And possibly long before Noah there were metal based cities or villages or something, with pipes n stuff.
2. There were walking, talking huge rock people. Yep.
3. Some of the rocks could ignite into all sorts of fires just by hitting them with the right motion. Oh, and they glowed and fizzed.
4. There were some amazing dried herbs that magically put animals to sleep without them needing to eat or pooh or anything. But it didn’t affect humans, only animals.
5. How the fuck did all those animals know at what time to come together, where the ark was, how to move together, which two of the many were the special two, etc, etc, etc?
6. Plants and indeed, entire forests, can grow in approximately 10 seconds flat.
7. I could go on, but I think you get the idea.

This movie makes no sense. It is truly unbelievable and truly impossible to grasp or believe in any part of it. There is a large amount of repetitive imagery showing ... something ... I’m not too sure what, but it seems to mean different things at different times. Some of the imagery was truly profound such as a bit showing silhouettes of different generations fighting each other, but most of it was embellished meaningless crap.

The story was terrible. It tried to make something huge and emotional and grand and epic, but at the end of the day it failed miserably. It became too engrossed in trying to be worthwhile that it lost its way. It’s also truly dark and depressing. By the end when I think I’m supposed to feel elated that humans are still around and thank Russell for being a good drunkard, or father or something, I actually felt even more depressed that humans are still around than I did before I watched the frickin thing.

The one saving grace was the acting. Russell Crowe was excellent, Emma Watson was as good as even, Jennifer Connelly was great, the three brothers were all surprisingly great too in light of who they were acting with. Ray Winstone was very miscast in my opinion, and is in fact not a very good actor at all if you ask me. He was far too comically evil for this movie and really fell flat the whole time. Even being seemingly written out for a good 20mins before popping up at the end as the bad guy you thought was gone. And, Anthony Hopkins was good but .. I don’t know what he was in the film for to be honest.

The special effects went from astoundingly good to astoundingly bad. I’m not sure if this was a budget, time or intentional effort as it was glaringly obvious but it helped me realise that this film was just all over the shop the whole time. Some of it was really quite beautiful and profound but mostly it’s a bumbling boring mess of a film. I really can’t recommend anyone go and see this film unfortunately. Definitely stick to Aronofsky's other flicks they are well and above this film in every conceivable way.

SCORE: 4/10 (4 points for the acting and batshit crazy idea of even trying to make this movie)

IMDB Info for Noah

 

Short Term 12

Been saving this one for the right mood and definitely glad I did.  Unfortunately I don't think I'm even close to qualified for reviewing it.  I think production wise it is almost perfect for the genre and story it was delivering.  I would love to crap on about the use of camera angle's, lenses, shooting style etc but I'm completely out of my league so will just say it's 'beautifully shot'.

Short Term 12 is more of an experience than a story.  We are immediately thrown into the world of a handful of carers looking after troubled youths and once we settle into this environment we can see like all things in life it's not as black and white as we may have thought.  Again I say I'm not qualified, being a middle class 'white dude' whose biggest problem growing up was not getting a Nintendo 64 for Christmas, it's hard to relate to the trauma and experiences these kids must have gone through - but the film does a good job of putting this in perspective.

In fact I think perspective is a key focus of this film.  It almost becomes a lesson in the power of perception. The perception of authority, perception of what we fear, and for us the viewer the perception of who or what is fucked up, or considered fucked up.

Snap out of it! Too deep, sorry.  Bottle of cheap Barossa red + antibiotics for an ear infection that is giving me nothing but Mono sound at best... maybe over thinking it all.

Moving on... It's a potentially dark subject but captured in quite a positive light.  The main characters have a lot to do with this adding some humour, but also the music is very up-beat and happy even during moments that could be perceived as higher tension.  I think this worked really well.

The acting is crazy good.  I didn't recognise anyone in the cast but quality was top notch.  There were a few story telling type scene's which helped add the humour but also just felt so natural and well acted.  I honestly hope this film kick starts a few careers here.

As always I have to make a small complaint.  There is a scene involving a suicide attempt and I would like the makers of this film to look up the number of litres of blood in the human body, and how many of those litres are expelled when slicing certain areas.  I don't think a smear on the wall covered it, but hey - maybe they were going for PG rating?

Overall though an incredibly well made film.  It loses a point for re-watch ability,  definitely think this is a once only for me.   That said though if I see the next title from Destin Cretton, writer and director,  I will definitely be checking it out.

8/10

IMDB Info

My Favourite Talk Show Skit Ever

I know this isn't really movie related but its just so amazing that I have to share it around. Jimmy Fallon is now the host of The Tonight Show in America and while I have never, ever, enjoyed the American talk show programs this guy just clicks with me for some reason. Maybe its my age and the fact he has so many 80s and 90s music and movie references in his show. Maybe its just his amazing ability to totally make a fool of himself and his guests without depreciating anyone. Maybe he is just what a good talk show host can be? Anyways, here are a couple of the best examples of my favourite skit on his show: LIP SYNC BATTLE!

Enjoy!
 

Wolf of Wall Street

Wolf of Wall Street could have been brilliant. It could have been the Scarface of our generation: a depiction of greed to the ultimate excess with a character arc that took you for a ride from an arrogant man with nothing all the way through to the total destruction of him and everything around him. Instead we got an over indulgent, love letter to having lots of money and spending that on drugs, sex and material things. This film makes no point and has nothing to say about this excess wealth, the consequences for the means with which he obtained it, the pain and suffering he brought on the world, to his own family or himself. It simply says that what he did is possible, that you could do it, that anyone can do it really, and that if you do all you need to do at the end is serve a little prison time and pay a $110 million dollar fine. (Which he had enough money to pay, WTF!?!?)

I'm actually really disappointed in this movie. There was so much potential, and so many great parts to the first half of this movie, I thought I was going to get to see one of the biggest fall from graces ever to be seen in film. Instead I get asked to sell him a pen. What a cop out. What were you thinking Marty? Im not sure what happened during the making of this flick, but you seemed to lose your way  and to end up not making a point about anything in 3+ hour movie is just bad filmmaking.

In fact I would probably put this movie right down the bottom somewhere of Marty's movies. Its nothing profound, its nothing edgy or stylish, its just disappointing.

The good of the film is surely Leo DiCaprio acting his arse off. He really does some amazingly graphic, slapstick, crazy stuff in this movie and goes for it in full, all the way, all the time. He is by far the best thing of the movie and would have had to have come close to Matthew McConaughey winning Best Actor for this year (who also has a great cameo in this flick). I find it quite amazing he agreed to do some of the things he did in this film actually, and that Marty could ask such a big A list cast member to do them. He is thoroughly entertaining throughout.

Jonah Hill is the other stand out. He plays this perfect mix of totally crazy, over the top, fake try hard brilliantly and I'm finding myself starting to like his acting more and more. He is a really interesting guy picking very different roles and bringing something new to them each time so it'll be good to see what he moves on to from this (now that Scorcese, like, totally thinks he is awesome).

The other point to note is that I didn't know you could show as much sex related stuff in a movie these days and not get it censored off to a padded cell somewhere never to be seen again. Its weird that the excessive amount of totally naked girls, full on sex scenes and innuendo has been approved for this movie, yet in other films has been censored so much more? Maybe its a changing time, maybe its just the weight Marty has in Hollywood, but its interesting in its difference.

This movie is well worth a watch for some of the crazy events and funny scenes that take place, but, you wont be amazed, learn anything or even feel the need to go back and watch it again. Except maybe for the scenes where the Quaaludes kick in! Steeeeevvvveeee Maaaaaaaaadddeeeeeeennnnnnnnnn, haha.

IMDB Info for Wolf of Wall Street

SCORE: 7/10

12 Years A Slave

12 Years A Slave is a real masterpiece. I'm so very happy that Steve McQueen has finally won a well deserved Oscar for his ability as a filmmaker and this film is the perfect fit for his skills and the Academy's tendencies of what type of film to award best picture to.

Having said that, of the three films I've seen by Steve McQueen this is his least amazing to me. So, how can a filmmakers least amazing film be the best picture winner? Well, it would be fair to say that his other two films Hunger and Shame are a lot less accessible than 12 Years A Slave. The first is a truly harrowing, no holds barred, account of the will of the IRA to starve themselves to death when arrested for their crimes. It is one of the hardest movies I have ever watched and has stayed very clear in my minds eye even to this day. There are some of the most beautifully horrible shots comprised in that movie, and some of the most chilling actions conveyed without any thought of watering down, or covering something up. It is a hard film to watch, but its more than a masterpiece, its a film that cannot be equalled in many ways. But its no best picture winner.

Shame was my favourite movie of 2013 (it was released in 2011 but I hadn't seen it before). Once again, it is composed of the most beautiful shot making and acted to perfection. The direction given to the team making that film is nothing short of some of the best direction that has ever been given to a filmmaking team. The story is once again very confronting talking about taboo topics and showing horrible acts by deplorable people, however, you simply cannot stop watching. It sucks you into this mans world and make you feel what he is feeling, even if you do not understand it all. And as I've said many times in the past simply has the best ending to a movie ever. But, yes, it is no best picture winner.

That brings me to 12 Years A Slave. Many have said the scenes of brutal torture put on black people in slavery is too much, that the film is more interested with making you feel this pain and disgust than it is with opening up a discussion about slavery itself. They do not understand Mr McQueens filmmaking skills. You are supposed to feel the impacts of slavery to Solomon, it is supposed to make you understand slavery from one mans perspective. It is just like Hunger and Shame: an investigation into an issue from the point of view of one man. The film makes you feel everything that one man feels so you can connect to it and relate to it.

The brutality of 12 Years A Slave is non negotiable. It shows some heinous acts. But this is the toned down version of the film in comparison to what Mr McQueen has done in both his other films, and that dear readers, is exactly what amazes me the most. Astounds me. The director and the filmmaker within him has seen his need to reduce his skills, just a little, to make his film more accessible. He wanted more people to see this movie, and more people to be able to sit through and recommend it as passionately as I do his other films. And he knew, by toning it down a smidge, that it could get a best picture oscar. Guess what? It did. What an amazing human being Steve McQueen is, what an amazing filmmaker he is, what an amazing film he has made in 12 Years A Slave and what amazing things will he be able to go on to do now he has won that prestigious prize?

IMDB Info for 12 Years A Slave

SCORE: 9/10

Academy Award Results

So, the awards were a week or so ago (sorry, Mike and I have been flat out at work) and so its time to see how we went with our Oscar predictions. First up let me say that I was very happy with this years choices, it seems that picking the obvious choice wasn't the agreed strategy for this year and it was nice to see the truly deserving win in most cases. So how did we do on our predictions? Lets see:

BEST PICTURE: 12 Years a Slave
Boom! The one we wanted: 12 Years A Slave. Steve McQueen is one of the best filmmakers out there and its brilliant to see him pickup his first oscar for such a strong movie. Look out for our review soon on this one.

BEST ACTOR: Matthew McConaughey
Boom! Two out two. I still haven't seen all of Matthews performance but from what I have heard its amazing. Wasn't too sure what to make of his acceptance speech, but I don't know what he is on at present with top performances also popping up in True Detective, Mud and Wolf of Wall St this year.

BEST ACTRESS: Cate Blanchett
And the Aussie takes it out! Well done Cate, love your work in all your movies. So proud to see you up there and brilliant acceptance speech.

BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR: Jared Leto
Way off the mark here, didn't even really know who Jared Leto is, but his performance does look like a knock out. And, he seems like a pretty cool dude.

BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS: Lupita Nyong'o
I am so glad Lupita won! Only the 7th black lady to ever win an Oscar and her performance was raw, emotional and poignant. So much better than Jennifer Lawrence's was.

BEST DIRECTOR: Alfonso Cuaron
Alfonso did it! We think that 12 Years was a more deserving picture for the top spot, but actually making Gravity is a truly astounding feat. He literally had to create new technology just to allow his vision to be reality and fought for nearly 7 years to make his Sci Fi epic. Plus, he made Children of Men! Come on.

BEST ADAPTED SCREENPLAY: 12 Years a Slave
Again, great to see such an amazing film take this one out, but I think the Before series deserves to win one for this category. Such brilliant writing.

BEST ORIGINAL SCREENPLAY: Her
This was unexpected in some ways. Its such an interesting night when the best screenplay, director and movie are all from different filmmakers and creatives. I love that as it means people really cared about the winners and Spike really deserved this. What a stand out accomplishment to write his movie the way he did.

BEST PRODUCTION DESIGN: The Great Gatsby
Think this one was pretty obvious. Quite interesting that The Great Gatsby won two more oscars than either Wolf of Wall Street, American Hustle or Captain Phillips.

BEST CINEMATOGRAPHY: Gravity
Now, Im not entirely sure on the rules or way cinematography is done for animated movies, but to me this was a real disappointment. Prisoners was the most intensely shot film, done with the most perfect lighting of the year, hands down. If its harder to do that in an animated film then Gravity was great, if its a misunderstanding of the construction technique Im annoyed at this one.

BEST VISUAL EFFECTS: Gravity
Hand in hand with what I said about cinematography, Gravity looks astounding! But its due to the visual effects, not the shooting techniques (In my opinion) so glad to see this take it out. Simply amazing how they did what they did in this movie.

So all in all we were pretty close and pretty happy with the outcome. I quite enjoyed Ellen's most tweeted photo of our overlords and loved Luipta's acceptance speech. Its a weird ceremony really, but always good to see what you love recognised. Here's hoping for a funnier leading comedian next year though.

Knights of Badassdom!

With a title like that you can't go wrong!  Can you?

Knights of Badassdom is exactly the sort of movie you would want to make. Take a crazy funny script about LARP'ers (Live Action Role Play) and add some horror themes, a great main cast including a few hot ladies and a dwarf (sorry, little person) and you have a recipe for success in my opinion.  This would have been so much fun to make, I'm jealous.

If you're not familiar with LARP it's where people go meet to role play their fantasy characters and do fake battle.  Yup, it's all the dungeons and dragons stuff involving +4 maces and spells of healing or whatever.  If you've seen the movie 'Role Models' then it's the same thing.  Not sure I should admit this out loud but I reckon it looks like a hell of a lot of fun and would love to give it a go :)

Where to start though?   I'll start small... Peter Dinklage.  What a great actor and obviously feels right at home in any medieval setting after we all fell in love with him in Game of Thrones.  He's absolutely hilarious as Sir Hung and he steals the show in every scene he's in.  Things only get better when Sir Hung downs a bag of shrooms before the event, although that said I think any comedy benefits from a character downing some sort of hallucinogenic.

Next in line is Aussie actor Ryan Kwanten of True Blood fame.  He is great with comedy but also showed depth in the Aussie drama Red Hill (pretty decent flick btw).  Good to see Aussie actors doing well.   Kwanten is a toned down version of his True Blood character for this one, which works well surrounded by his super nerd mates.  Steve Zahn also shares the lead well and for those Community fans there is a small role for Danny Pudi (Abed)...  Love that dude :)

Knights of Badassdom is just a good, funny and silly horror comedy.   Definitely a movie to watch with mates over a few drinks. It's a low budget gem and the old school special effects using real creature costumes compliments the style perfectly.   Like any good horror comedy the kill scene's are way over the top and are delivered with good frequency.  Not a movie to be taken seriously, just enjoy and have a laugh.

My only complaint was lack of boobs.  (sorry ladies).   This sort of movie is only made better by some completely deliberate and blatantly tasteless titty shots.  Take a leaf out of road trips book.

Enjoy :)

8/10

IMDB Info

Dallas Buyers Club

Matthew McConaughey just cracked the big league.  This performance puts him in such company as Christian Bale and Daniel Day Lewis.  Had the film been made earlier it would be in contention for a spot on the top 10 male performances of all time list.

Dallas Buyers Club is based on a true story about Ron Woodroof, a Texas electrician who contracts the H.I.V virus in the mid 80's and his subsequent struggle to attain the right medicines he needs to survive.  He finds a market selling non-approved drugs to other H.I.V patients and sets up the "Dallas Buyers Club" which provides all the drugs you need for the price of a monthly membership.  Through this he begins his own research and improves the lives of many people however maintains a constant fight with the F.D.A, the police and the I.R.S to provide the drugs.

It must have been a very frustrating time for those infected by the virus. The usual government corruption led to a drug known as AZT being approved for human trials and this was having very mixed results amongst patients.  Different drugs were available in other countries but were not approved by the F.D.A so couldn't be brought into or sold in the U.S.  Woodroof worked around the system and traveled to many countries finding suppliers and giving the people an alternative option to AZT, one that appeared to be far more successful.

The craziest thing about this movie was that it was made for 4.5 million.  Obviously a passion project for McConaughey who would normally draw that amount in salary alone.  It is well shot, incredibly acted and is quite an interesting story on a controversial subject.  I was pleased to read that it made about 25 million worldwide which is a great result for 4.5 million budget.

Jared Leto co-stars as Rayon, a trans-gender male with H.I.V who opens up the market for Woodroof and becomes a partner in the business.  Both McConaughey and Leto are fantastic.   They both had to lose insane amounts of weight and it is just disturbing how skeletal they are in some shots - similar to Christian Bale in 'The Machinist' or as Dicky in 'The Fighter'.  It really adds authenticity to the characters though.

My only criticism is that the story is very slow.  I think Macca used the term 'snails pace' and I would have to agree.   Given the true content of the story I'm not quite sure how they could have changed this, perhaps shaved 20 minutes off the  run time, not sure.  It was a good watch though but not one I will be in a hurry to watch again.

7/10

IMDB Info